the RAINBOW after the storm

As the popular song goes.. "there's a rainbow always after the rain". And truly, yes there is! 

For the past days, I have been through something very traumatic. It was so moving that thinking of it now, makes me feel weak again. It was a nightmare I do not want to go back, ever. I have prayed so hard to keep myself strong. For me not to give up and just believe in God's ways of challenging me.

I don't usually share much of my story. Nahihiya ako. Also, I don't want other people feel pity on me. But then, I feel so much loved and concerned from a lot people. Though they do not know much of the story, they encourage me to be strong and to keep my faith high. I even received help from people I just recently got close to. Truly, God showed me how loved I am.

A week after that nightmare, I was sharing to a colleague what I've been through. That day, we have shared some life experiences we have faced and how we have stood upright after every fall. 2 days after our conversation, I received a text from her saying.. "CONGRATULATIONS GIRL". I already have an idea of what it was, so I immediately checked my email. 

My heart was smiling at me as I check my phone. :) The email contained the announcement of our Team's Q2 and Q3 Aztec Awardees. This is an award given to the team member who has showed a difference for the period. The email contain this message:

Wow! Just Wow! This isn't my first time to receive any award. Back in school, I do received awards whenever I was part of the class Top 10, and other recognition in school, but this one is different. It's my first time to receive an award that is work related. What makes it extra special is that, this is something I receive after that horrible nightmare I have been through. Something, I don't really expect but something I have wished for. God really made me feel so much loved. Really, the "RAINBOW" after that storm.

TRAUMA

As defined in the dictionary..

TRAUMA

a : an injury (as a wound) to living tissue caused by an extrinsic agent

b : a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury

c : an emotional upset

<the personal trauma of an executive who is not living up to his own expectations — Karen W. Arenson

And yes.. I am into right now. I am writing it today, as I can't handle all the worries that's been bothering me.

The thought of thinking it again, makes my body shiver in fear. I have these cold hands and even experiencing chest pains. If only I could shout it aloud right now, so that I'll be okay. But, no.. there is no effect.

Now.. prayer has been my comfort. It keep me calm, knowing that God is with me. Prayers has been so powerful. Though we are not in control of the actions of the people around us, we have a BIG GOD. We should always remember that.

And my prayer today..

"Lord, keep me strong. Please help me protect my family from any danger, sickness and from the people that may hurt and harm them. Embrace us with your comforting hands, Lord. Don't let us be harmed. Let you be in control. I know that You will never let us down. And Lord, Kayo na pong bahala sakanila."

Introduction

JAZEL JANE L. BOOC

Hi! so.. this is probably my first entry. I actually don't know how to start, maybe let me first say things about myself and what people will expect here in my blog.

I'm Jazel Jane Booc, friends call me Jah.. at times, Jaja / Jaze / Zel .. actually, anything will do.. I'm in my mid-twenties now. Hahaha.. (don't want to reveal the real age). I really don't know where to start describing myself or even telling about myself. Better not to describe myself further.. I guess, you'll find out through my blog.

For me, writing has been my outlet to express myself. I started writing when I was about in the 5th grade. Simple poems about the kiddie little things and of course, crushes! I have kept some, and might post them here anytime soon. Then, High School came and my love for writing progress. From the topics on my poems to short stories I had write randomly. I also enjoy writing reflective journals in our English class in my 3rd and 4th year. It was a weekly assignment where in, our teacher will give us a topic to write about, and if she likes what you wrote, your work will be posted in our bulletin board for other students to read. So, I guess it motivates me to push myself even more in writing.

I grew up not having someone to talk to most of the time, and maybe that one reason why I prefer to put everything in writing. I am a quiet person, deep, and emotional. So, maybe that where my love for writing comes in. Though, I am not sure if I am really good at it, it doesn't matter, I will just write my thoughts and I'm happy about it.

When I reach 18, I started having this little notebook, commonly known to be a diary. Yeah.. I am one of those girls who write their thoughts and secrets in this very popular diary. But I am not the "girly" kind of girl. I decided to have mine, just to have someone to talk to, to chat to, a confidant who would listen to me in the form of writing. Mine was more of my listener. Writing and sharing what happened to me that day, my confusing thoughts and my kept feelings. I have kept all 4 diaries with me until now. Sometimes, I would just flip a page and started reminiscing and laughing what happened to me then. This diary, is my witness on how I am as a person. How I am with love, and what can I do because of love. When love finally came in my life, out of now where, I have stopped writing. I actually don't know the reasons why. Maybe because, I now finally have someone to listen to me.

and now, I miss writing.. I miss expressing myself through this..

so maybe, you will expect writings about myself and how I view things. Nothing really to expect. I will just be me.

____________________________________________________


Why: "Silent Speaks" ?


Simple: Through this blog that "silent" part of me will speak out everything she wanted to say. Anything she wanted to share. And anything under the sun. I have always been the silent type of person. Very kept, private and personal. I don't share much stories, except for the people I trust so much.

** jaze :)

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