A DREAM I KNOW WILL NEVER HAPPEN

I woke up today with a dream I know will never happen.

Why do we still dream of someone who is already out of our lives? I mean, yes, you are friends, but there was no a "hi-hello" thing or anything that keeps you connected. Yes. he was once important to you and treat you as the best-est friend ever, but then everything was gone. As much as I want to think that he is still there for me, I know everything is different now.

I dreamt of him, giving me a bouquet of flowers on my birthday which is few days from now. 

Very impossible I know. He don't even know how to say "hi". He don't message me. We don't talk nor see each other anymore. He won't even like or react to any of my FB post. I never felt his presence from a long time now. I have greeted him during the holidays (Christmas & New Year) but there was no reply. I greeted him on his birthday and sent him a very long message, and I actually don't remember his reply as it was as short as it was.

This is not to say that he was a bad person or a bad friend. I know that he recognizes the things I did and been doing until now. I just miss him. I actually miss telling him everything and expressing myself. I miss talking to him. I guess, I just needed someone to talk to right now.

He was my high school best friend (as what he said). He has been my constant listener and adviser. But when you got busy, meet new people in life and found your love story, you've gone to leave some friends behind your new found happiness. I guess that is the reason why everything was different now.

I have been into a lot the past days and weeks. I am trying to be okay. To divert all the sadness and loneliness into happiness. I have gone watching a movie, cut my hair short and even went out of town with friends. But no matter how happy I have felt, at the end of the day before I sleep, I know that there is something missing.

In a few days, will be my birthday and nothing really to expect, especially now. And to dream that your ONCE supposed to be guy-bestfriend will give you flowers on your birthday is just an imagination. I haven't received a bouquet my entire life, much more from someone I wasn't able to talk nor saw for a long time now. But why did I dreamt of him? So, what does this dream implies now?

That dreams are opposites of what will happen in reality..

I guess...