Purple Sky

Last November, I had an amazing trip with my friends in San Felipe, Zambales. Finally, some vitamin sea, sand and sun. The view definitely not failed us. It's been a while since the last time I gaze the sunset sky. I have been working at night for a year now and I haven't been out that time of the day. It's my first time to get awe with a beautiful sunset. A perfect purple pink sky that is ready to cover the sea. It was mesmerizing. So beautiful, I can't imagine it really happen. I am falling in love with it. 

Take the time to stop and think,
and watch the sky turns purple pink. 💜

Paano Kung Tayo

I am alone in the office, and Ben&Ben songs played in my background. There was a pen and paper in front of me, and I began to write while waiting for the report running in my computer. It was very random. Very raw emotions filling me in. Maybe this is something my heart wants me to write for a while now.

So, here's my quick poem while listening to Ben&Ben.

PAANO KUNG TAYO

Minsan naisip ko

Paano kung tayo?

Paano kung tulad tayo ng mga

magkasintahan na nakikita ko?

Nagtatawanan.. Sweetsweetan..

Magkadikit.. Nagkwekwentuhan..

Hindi mapaghiwalay.. Naghaharutan..

May ngiti sa bibig,

May kinang sa mga mata,

Hindi maipaliwanag na saya.

Pero, napahinto ako..

Para atang imposible kung titignan ko.

Isang pangarap na parang malabo,

Napakataas, hindi ko maabot,

Napakailap, hindi ko mahawakan,

Napakabilis, hindi ko mahabol.

Paano magiging tayo?

Lalapitan mo kaya ako para

tanungin ang pangalan ko?

Mapapatingin ka ba pag dumaan

ako sa harap mo?

Parang imposible talaga.

Ngunit sa isip isip ko, sana magkatotoo..

Sana, kaya mapansin ng tulad mo,

ang isang tulad ko.

Pero paano magiging tayo?

Sa dami ng tao sa paligid mo,

hindi mo mapapansin ang pagtingin ko.

Kaya, ang dasal ko, sana isang araw,
tumingin ka naman sa direksyon na ito.

At kung sakaling maging tayo..

Pangako, hindi ka na mag iisa.

Hindi ka na mag iisa doon sa upuang

lagi mong tinatambayan sa opisina.

Hindi ka na mag iisang kumain pa.

Tatawa ka na ulit gaya ng dati.

Aalagaan kita at sasamahan lagi.

At pag naging tayo, wala ng paano,

masasagot na ang lahat ng tanong ng puso mo.

xoxo
Jayz

Who needs a hug? 🤗 ME

I don't know. I just felt that I need a hug to calm me, to get myself back, to wake up and go on with my every day, positively. The past weeks have been so stressful and tiring. I don’t know the problem and why I feel this way. I just feel something is wrong. I feel that vibe that "I want to be happy, where I can be happy? What can make me happy?".

We ended up eating a lot. With all the burgers, fries, ice cream, Starbucks and milk tea, but it seems not to be enough. That there is still something missing in it.

And its different when you are alone. The emptiness and loneliness is more felt. You are alone in your room. You don't have anyone to talk to. And you don't know if anyone is really caring for you.

I just need a hug. The one that is long and warm. I just want to feel that I am loved. To feel that somebody is comforting and caring for me. And that everything will be okay. 😔

xoxo

Jayz

Gusto

May gusto akong sabihin,
isang bagay na hindi ko maamin.
Tila yata may kakaiba sa ihip ng hangin.
May kaba akong nadarama,
pintig ng puso ko'y may ibang kinakanta.

Bakit ganito?
Tila humihinto ang paligid ko.
Parang eksena sa pelikula kapag nagkatinginan na.
Paano ba ito?
Nahuhulog na ata ako.

Gusto kong tumakbo at kalimutan ang nararamdamang ito.
Gusto kong umiwas ng hindi tuluyang mahulog.
Gusto kong magpakalayo layo.
Gusto kong magtago at tuluyan ng sumuko.

Dahil sa dulo, alam kong masasaktan lang ako.
Dahil hanggang tingin lang kita sa malayo.
Isang tagahanga na may lihim na pagtingin.
At alam kong hindi mo ako mapapansin.

Gusto kita..
Gusto kita ngunit wag nalang muna..
Cguro, sa susunod na pagkakataon nalang
pag kaya ko ng maging matapang.

09.05.19

Moon Love 🌜

Moon Love 🌚

Painted  this 08/02/19

She held the moon  the way

she held her own heart,

as if it was the only light

that could guide her through the darkest nights.

- Chrissie Pinney

Jeepney Love Story

Let me share my unforgettable Jeepney Love Story...

(which happened a week ago) Hahaha! 😂

Background of the story:

I have crush at work for years now and he is my happy pill. Nothing really serious, just someone I see from a far and get "kilig" in his presence. He is someone I always see in the hallway, in the pantry or the guy I almost bumped into. Like, I always see him from the big crowd. Yes, I know him by name. I have my sources. Hahaha! 😂 #StalkingSkills 

But if he knew me, that, I am not sure. Recently, something happened over Linkedin. Months ago, I viewed his profile. When I checked it back, he viewed mine as well. With Linkedin, the name of the person who viewed you appears, so, what will I do? Hahaha. He might probably knew me now and would probably think I am stalking him. (I am) 😜

❤❤❤

So, the jeepney story happened one night. I was on my way to work, and I am running late, it was almost 10pm. I was the first to seat and I sat near the jeepney door. Then, about 3 to 4 passengers to go, I saw him at the door. He looked at me. I was shocked and I really hope it didn't appear in my face that moment. So, he entered and sat beside me. Yes, beside me, OMG!! And I remember it right, there was no available space beside me but he made a way to have a little space so he can sit. I really don't know what to do. Few seconds later, he gave his fare, then I remember, how would I gave my fare to the driver. There was no other way but for him to get mine. I was so hesitant, but I don't have a choice. So, I modulate my voice, act normal and gave my fare. Hahaha! I really feel awkward that time. So, he went to get my fare. 😊 I can't even remember if I said thank you (I think, I did). We were so close. His elbows are already touching mine's. As in. My heart is exploding! ❤ Hahaha. So, when we got off the jeep, I went out first, and tried to act and walk normal. I really don't know what to do. Waaaaaah!! But my normal walk is really fast and he was few meters behind me. Then he went to 7-11 that is the only time I got to finally relax. Woooo!!

What was on my mind:

Did it really happen? Why would he sit beside me, on the first place, there was no enough space in there. Did he knew me? Did he recognize me as that girl in Linkedin who stalked him, I mean viewed him? Waaaah.. I really don't know the answers. I don't want to make any move or do anything crazy. But I am definitely kilig in his presence. Yeah.. I want to know him personally and be friends with him. I hope the next time I bumped into him, he would smile and for sure, I will smile back. But this is all I can do from now... To be kilig from a far.

So, here is Yeng Constantino with Jeepney Love Story

https://youtu.be/L5MeBNrst5s

Much Love,

Jazel ❤

Q&A

With the recently concluded Binibining Pilipinas where new queens have been crowned, let us make a little Q&A. So, I have crossed this question in Facebook and find it a little witty, so let's try and answer the question below... 

Credits to: Boiling Water FB page.

"Kung bibigyan ka ng chance na sabihin sa crush mo na nagseselos ka every time na nakikita mo siyang may kasamang iba.. Anong karapatan mo?" 

My Answer:

Wala. Wala akong karapatan, pero hindi ko pwedeng i-deny na ako'y nasasaktan. And I will not blame myself or anybody for feeling this way. It's my choice to feel this, because I choose to like him without any conditions, and that includes, him not liking me back. Wala rin akong sasabihin sakanya. I don't want him or anybody pity me for not being loved back. Martry as it may sound, we love without expecting anything in return. And I thank you.