Sweet Escape

We were two souls who needed some fresh air, an escape from the busy city, from the stressful work and from the life we had. And there we were, finding comfort in each other, making each other feel, “you are not alone.”

We’ve been friends for two years now. I can’t explain much of the friendship we have. He would tease me, and sometimes bully me. But that is something we enjoy laughing at. He would always ask questions related to work, and our day was just about that. We would sometimes have our small talks about life – family, friends and love. We are opposites. Our life is a total contrast of each other.  He is the happy go lucky one, and I'm the quiet serious type. He makes most of his time to enjoy his life, he travels, explore, and make the most of it because as he always say, life is too short. While on the other hand, my life seems to be boring. I can’t afford to enjoy it as much as he does, for I am stuck to be the perfect daughter, the provider, and the role model. I have lot of priorities in life, that I rarely have time for myself.

We didn’t really have the chance to hang out due to our conflicting schedules. Only few times when we get the chance to eat lunch and talk. But there are plans of going out, to try something new, to watch an interesting movie, to try different things and check some on my bucket list. He wanted to help me conquer my fears and try out new things.

One day, he asked me out and we went to Nuvali. We have been talking going there but no final date yet, and I really don’t have any idea that it will happen that day. We were both free, and we decided to go together. We just had ourselves, our beep cards and some extra cash. I was excited for unplanned trips like this. I feel like, I am escaping for the real world for a while. The bus ride from Makati to Nuvali only took us about 45 minutes to an hour. We were at Solenad. Fresh Air! Yes, we had breath cold fresh air. I just think that's what we needed. We needed a place we can be at ease, and relax. We just roam around, had Starbucks to keep ourselves hot, eat some snacks and headed home after 2 hours. We still have work the next day, so we are particular with our time.

But what is special about this trip? We had the chance to talk topics we rarely talk about in person, or in a deeper sense. While waiting for other passengers at the bus, he finally started talking. We both have our long time partners. They have been together for almost 11 years, and I had a  7 years relationship. I never thought that we almost have the same story, where in I can relate so much. I think, he did most of the talking and imparting the lessons he had learned over the years. That, this is life.  “Nasanay na ako sa set-up na ganito, so parang ok nalang.” He also said, “Hindi naman tayo mawawalan, kasi, baka on the first place, hindi naman tayo nagkaroon.” It actually makes sense to me right now. We were both in a situation where in our partners makes us feel they are not there in the relationship yet we still stayed.

Then, I saw a different person during the trip. I used to see him making fun of me or irritating me. But during that time, he comforted me and made me feel safe. I actually don’t know what is happening. It seems to be wrong, but I never saw it wrong because we are friends and that was what I am thinking the whole trip. He had me in his arms. He held my cold hands, cuddle and caress me. He would pinch me like he always does and hugged me tight. Then from there, I felt how much he misses her and how much he longed for her. I know it’s a little wrong that I let him do things like that, but I felt his pain and longingness. And before we parted ways, he even asked me for a goodbye hug. It is one tight hug, “Thank you for today.”

And now, I am writing this because everything keeps repeating in my mind. I have lot of questions to him right now. "Why. Why are you too sweet all of a sudden?  What was that? Is it something you did because you have to or because you see her in me?” I really don’t know what will happen for the days to come, but I hope I’ll be able to get the answers I needed.